March 26, 2010: Taking the time to reflect on the first three months...

It has been almost three months since I made the decision to say “I am a photographer”. It sounds just as odd to say it today as it did three months ago, but in taking the time to reflect, with my trusty journal and a cup of coffee infused with the smell of caramel and vanilla, on why that is, I have come up with a few thoughts.

Last summer, I had the privilege of attending the Nebraska Writing Project Summer Institute, where, in an intense one month writing experience, I learned to believe in myself as a writer. “The best teachers of writing are writers themselves”. That was the motto that I came away from the experience with. This year has been a personal experiment for me. Not only did I start the school year with a new perspective of what writing is and how to teach it, I had a whole new approach to my own writing. In returning home, I looked at my camera, and began to wonder why it was that I was so afraid to not only call myself a writer, but also a photographer. I am not afraid to call myself a wife, mother, or teacher. I came to some personal conclusions about that.

I believe to be called a scholar, one must not only appreciate the process of study; they must bury themselves in it and strive to evolve, just as what they study evolves. To be called a writer, I believe one must appreciate the complex, and sometimes gruesome process of writing; they must bury themselves in it, and strive to evolve, just as what they write evolves. To be called a teacher, I believe one must appreciate the position they hold, as they have been blessed with the important responsibility to enrich the minds of the future of the world; they must, at times, bury themselves in this role and evolve, just as the students they teach evolve. To be a parent, I believe one must appreciate the blessing they have been given, and must bury themselves in the act of nurturing their child so that child may evolve into a person who appreciates the important role they play in this world.

I am by no means evolved in any of these categories, but I do believe I am growing. I believe calling myself by any title, including photographer, simply means that I spend a devoted amount of time challenging myself to the process of growing in that area of my life. I reflect on the last 9 or so years of my life, and think about how much growth has occurred, some of it coming naturally, and some of it through force. Evolving as a Christian, a wife, a mother, a teacher, a writer, a photographer…as a human being, is not an easy process, but with the love and support of God, family, and friends, the process continues in a positive direction. I thank all the people in my life, including all of my clients, who have supported me in my growth as a photographer. Realizing a dream is a scary process. To quote one of my favorite African Proverbs, “a calm sea does not make a skilled sailor”. The fear of failure is always present. Making mistakes is inevitable. Being misunderstood is probable. Upsetting others is likely. But, from all of these, one learns how to trust a higher power to help navigate them to smoother ground.

Thank you for all your support,

Katrina Lee

Evolving Christian, sister, daughter, wife, mother, teacher, writer, photographer…human being